Mean Gene Okerland: “Welcome to Admirals Afternoon, your favourite TV and Radio show.
I’m your host as always, “Mean” Gene Okerlund, joined by today’s guests ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter and Jesse Palmer, former NFL QB and star of The Bachelor season 5.
Well gentlemen, the Admirals decided to play a game of football on Thursday night against the high octane, high scoring, hard hitting DBacks.
Goodness gracious, fans in attendance thought they were going to watch a slo-pitch game, but judging by the score this was more like a college bowl game.”
Adam Schefter: “Hi Gene. 31-28 what a score, what a game. I have to say, if you are a fan of high scoring football, you would have loved this game between the Dbacks and the Admirals.”
“Speaking of scoring. As an NFL QB and a star on The Bachelor, I have to say that our next guess Jesse Palmer knows a thing or two about scoring. He has probably scored with three times as many ladies as the entire Admirals roster. Am I right Jesse?”
Jesse Palmer: “Hi Gene. Well, I’m not here to talk about the thousands of ladies I’ve scored with. I think I’m here to provide analysis of the football game between the Admirals and the Dbacks.
With a final score of 31-28, that tells me that the Admirals were close. They just needed a Field Goal and they would have sent this game to overtime. “
“Yes, well that is interesting analysis Jesse. Back to you Adam Schefter. As an NFL Insider, what is your take on the Admirals losing for the third time in four games?”
“Well, Gene. In the NFL, you usually need to be 10-6 maybe 9-7 in order to be in contention for the playoffs. At 9-7 you are sniffing around a Wild Card spot. Right now the Admirals have a record of 5-3.
They are right on pace to have a 10-6 record. That means they should make the playoffs. As we’ve seen in previous years. You just have to make the playoffs and anything can happen.
I’ve spoken to many in the Admirals front office and they aren’t worried about the teams record right now. Is this a championship hang-over? NO – although I will point out that Mike Lebreque has a hangover most of the time he takes the field.
“If I can jump in Gene. I think the Admirals need to look at ways to improve their special teams.
I find that when your team is almost winning high scoring games – you have to look at your special teams.
I don’t have the stats in front of me, but, safe to say the special teams have to tighten up.
“Interesting. Well, the analysis we are getting today is less than spectacular.
Gentlemen, if you look at the box score - and clearly Jesse hasn’t – you see the way the Dbacks put up their runs. 5 runs in the first, 3 in the second, 10 in the third, another 10 in the fourth and 3 in the fifth.
My goodness. 20 runs in two innings against the Admirals – that is impressive to say the least.”
“I think it's safe to say that the Admirals have a target on their back. Other teams want to beat the defending champs. It’s a big deal.”
“I agree with Shefty. Most football players start by picking up one random girl, after that you start having threesomes. It just keeps escalating. You keep challenging yourself. You put that target on your back. You want to be the guy in the league hooking up with the most women. It’s a big deal.”
“Well, I don’t understand where Jesse Palmer was going with that comment. Anyways, it’s time to do what we always do. Let’s open the phone lines. Our first caller is Timmy in Whitby. Hi Timmy, a good Admirals Afternoon to you.”
Caller – "Timmy": “Ya, Hi Gene. I just want everyone to know that I knew the Admirals sucked, I still think the Admirals suck…and last night I placed a sweet bet at Dougothy Casino against the Admirals. Thanks to the Dbacks, I’m rolling in fresh new dollars.”
“Well, Timmy. Thanks for the call. You didn’t ask a question, but, it’s always good to hear from you and congratulations on your win. Our next caller is Betty in Bowmanville.”
Caller – Betty: “Hi Gene. Um. My question is for Jesse Palmer. Um. Jesse. I’m currently a member of the “Poutine Posse”, the female groupies that support Mike Lebreque. I was just wondering if you wanted to slip me a DM, maybe I could start the Durham Region chapter of the “Palmer Posse?”
“Ok. I’m going to interject myself right now and prevent Jesse Palmer from answering such a lewd question. We have time for one more caller. Let’s go to Jerry in Whitby.”
Caller – Jerry: “It’s me Jerry Tone. The Legend. I was a guest host on the show last week.
Anyways, I just wanted Jesse Palmer to know that the real reason I’m called the Legend is because of my epic performance in Niagara Falls back in '88. I tell ya, it was legendary. Imagine me and 22 strippers in a hot tub….”
“......OK. This episode of Admirals Afternoon has gone completely off the rails. Let’s hope the Admirals season hasn’t. Join us next time. We’ll see if the Admirals can get back in the win column.
Statistical Shout Outs
Jay "I Got Game" Goodwin: 4 for 4 at the plate, with a double, 3 runs scored and 4 RBI
Duran "#NewSwing" Spray: 4 for 5 at the plate, with 4 doubles, 4 runs scored and 4 RBI
Alberto "Admirals Poster Boy" Lopez: 4 for 5 at the plate, with 2 runs scored and 6 RBI
Antonio "Fit 4 Life" Silva: 4 for 5 at the plate, a triple, 4 runs scored and 2 RBI
Jomo "Don't Call Me Tiger" Hanley: 3 for 4 at the plate, with 2 home runs (!!), 3 runs scored and 4 RBI
Jay W: $20 (no show; no sign-out)
The team fund sincerely thanks you for your contributions! :)