Admirals Forum

Today is a day of mourning in the Slo-Pitch world.

Although expected by most, Marty "Close Only Counts in Horseshoes, Hand Grenades and Throws to him at First" Robertson has chosen to go out just like his man crush John Elway did: on top!

Yes, the Admirals first baseman made it official today by announcing he's stepping away from the game with this letter to the Admirals front office.

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When asked to comment about the news, Pousuna was quoted as saying: "Indeed it is a sad day in the Slo-Pitch world! Everyone's going to miss Marty! I know he's made me look great on several occasions with throws I've made in his general vicinity. Anyway, hey, did you hear I struck out Duran again?"

Team skip, Dunner, was quoted as saying this about the news: "Greeeeeaaaaat! The guys are surely gonna to think I wrote this retirement letter, just like they think I wrote Jomo's interview transcript, which for the record I didn't. That was all Jomo's doing."

With their end-of-season party on deck next weekend, the Admirals expect to give Marty a proper send off then.